Have you ever heard of Social Jiu-Jitsu?
The art of making you talk about yourself, without you
ever realizing it occurred.
Have you met someone new, chatted for 15 minutes and walked away thinking,
“Wow, that was a great conversation. She is awesome”.
Then you realized later on, that you didn’t learn a thing about the other person.
SJJ masters create a setting where they can make anyone feel good about themselves during the initial conversations. They use their interest, politeness and social grace to cast a magical and immediate spell on you.
And you tend to like them more for it.
Jeff Haden’s post, which is written here, discusses 6 Habits of Remarkably Likable People. And one of them happens to be about being masters of SJJ. He describes how through conversations and personal mannerism, people can “connect” with one another.
In my line of work as a story collector, it is important to build instant rapport. And based on what Haden has to say, this is my little situation. At the start I had to break my habit of the standard power pose, “Hey, how are you, it’s good to meet you, bye”, and then I would quickly scuffle away.
Yes, it does come with a little risk.I had to accept that I have to be far more courteous than the normal person, a lot more genuine, show enthusiasm and interest, and perhaps a little more vulnerable by putting myself out there.
When it come down to it, while engaging with one another, by acting selfless we can create a more lasting impression.
So what are you waiting for, lets become masters of SJJ ^^
image from here