Day 28 – 29: The Douchebag Attraction

Screen shot 2014-08-13 at 2.38.45 PMIt’s the last few days on Tinderland and one cute thing did happen. I was matched with a dog named Shado. His first opening line is “woof woof” (then I thought about it, maybe that’s just creepily cute?)

The owner did follow up with a thank you message and apparently he met some matches in real life to meet Shado the dog.

The Douchebag Attraction
The amount of doucehbags happening in real life and time has increased.

I blame Tinder.

I’m a firm believer in law of attraction. If I’m having a shit of a day, shit things would happen to me – think 10 times over. Once, my care broke down, my mobile batteries dies. The dribble of rain becomes a storm and pours down on me while I look for a payphone. It was the absolute shits.

I realised that life is better when you’re in a state of realistic optimism. It has a way of attracting like-minded people who also genuinely enjoy life and are passionate about what they do. It makes a huge difference. There’s a book called The Luck Factor by Dr Richard Wiseman, he describes lucky people who are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good. In other words, they see things and bounce back while unlucky people tend to blame others.

The same sense of logic is applied to Tinder. While being on Tinder, I unconsciously began to harness the ‘douchebag attraction’. The amount of douchebags (d-bags) I met online begins to spill over in everyday living. Lately d-bags have approached me.

I was walking down the street, an old white guy follows me around a block, steps besides me and softly asks: “How much?”

In broad daylight, in the city, on a Saturday morning, I was being propositioned. It was not like I was wearing anything flash, truth be told, I felt like a total dag.

Again, I sincerely blame Tinder.

The Holiday Syndrome

“Can I help you pack” asks a Tinder match.

It was around 11.30pm and clearly it was a coded question to find casual sex. I politely declined. I realised that there is a common pattern of people using Tinder as a way to find mini holiday flings. Where one is away from their home-cities and seeks opportunity to muck around.

I know of a friend’s friend who tells me a story of a backpacker. He swipes yes to every lady that his finger comes across. His profile indicates that he is a backpacker and looking for ‘some fun.’ He comes back with a range of matches, and start filtering his interest. And yes, there were many who are interested in his equipment. My friend also indicates that many of them were married women. I guess Tinder works both ways. I still think it favours the guys more.

The Finger Effect

This video describes how I see guys use Tinder:

Lonely Sculpture (2014) from Tully Arnot on Vimeo.




There’s a common belief that this is how a guy would use Tinder. There a very few indviduals who fit outside the social norm and have their own extensive nopes list. And yes, I do believe there a certain racial bias coming to play here.

I think Tinder is a matter of conveniences. It’s an easy app to use and it offers something else: INSTANT GRATIFICATIONS

  • a quick ego boost
  • to kill time and boredom
  • to find sexual release
  • to feel super popular
  • to combat loneliness.

Looking for instant gratification. Just swipe right.

Oh, how I love thee Tinder.


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