My ’30 Days of Tinder’ Conclusion (Part Two)

Someone once said that the secret to youth is to laugh often. If that’s the case, I have to thank Tinder as I have lost a few extra years to my life from all the laughter.

Tinder is my shits and giggles. So many luls.

Tinder has a way of providing women and men a false sense of security. It’s a bit of mind fuck if you’re not careful. You will find trolls like me. But there are times when I have quick trips of ego validation. Maybe as a female I had it easy. Because I can get 100 hits in a day whereas a guy would be lucky to get two. When I wasn’t being my usually nitpicky self, there be days where I can find any guy willing to court me.

There seem to be an excessive amount of banality, I beg of you please don’t be that guy and open up the line with “Hey there, you’re so cute with your glasses.” or worse asking “Hey, how are you?”

I do thrive on a good banter (it shows wit and I appreciate witty guys) and I usually find a few who did a great job of crossing swords with me. Tinder has made me feel super intelligent and definitely more desirable. Ergo the instantaneous ego boost.

Alas, females tend to have an invisible list of high standards.  From a young age we innately understand that men are geared to want to get into our pants. If not our pant, then they try to crack into our minds. Actually guys definitely just want to get into your pants.

One of my highlights was when I serenaded as a ‘tourist’, for 3 hours we chatted in emoji. It was filled with sexual innuendos. Squirt, Squirt. Then when he thought we were going to have sex, he quickly attempted a rip-off version of Fifty Shades of Grey. He really really wanted to get into my pants!! 

When I first started 30 Days of Tinder, I made created some guidelines for myself:

Well, rules are made to broken and I broke 2 out of the 4.  Rule 1 was to strictly go on Tinder for ONLY 30 DAYS. As previously show on my last post, I broke the 30 day rule and went back on it for ‘research’.

While Rule 2 was to not meet any of the Tinder Fellas. Many have questioned (mostly men) and wondered why I placed a strict rule on myself. Towards the last few days of the experiment, I ended up going onto two dates. I think I even followed up with a second date with the second fella. He knew that I blogged about my findings and wasn’t phased by it. In the end I haven’t maintained any kind of relationships with them, especially since one of them had clear signs of Yellow Fever. He was my first Tinder Fail.

Is it an empowering tool for women? It does and it doesn’t. Though being bombarded by superficial request can be tiring and draining.

You also project what you want on Tinder, you can find anything on there. Yes, you can use it for sex, only if that’s what you want. It’s a matter of understanding what visual cues to share and set on your profiles. There are many guys who would display their 6-pack bods and if they’re wearing their underpants, it’s not a homage to Superman – it’s because they want to show their ‘big’ D. Whereas women, well frankly speaking they don’t have to do much but say yes.

Maybe, I’m secretly a Tinderella looking for my Tinderfella….

Regardless of what I think, online dating is here to stay. It’s the future of dating. Online dating is more for convenience, where people don’t have the time in their daily lives to pursue interactions with the opposite sex. Or rather, it’s not as in-your-face and has a stamp of anonymity to it.  It doesn’t however replace meeting to face-to-face. It’s only seeing them physically can we assess if they are a bitch or dickheads.

I know Love isn’t exclusive, I just haven’t find the right partner. Well not on Tinder anyways.

Did you hear about how Blendr did a rebrand, its now called Baboo. Did I get that wrong? Maybe it’s been around for a while and it’s another infamous hook up app. There’s only one way to find out. Do more research!

-sn

6 comments

  1. Just finished reading all of your ’30 days of tinder’ posts. Was interesting to see your view of it (attitude?) change slightly over it all.

    Thanks for taking the plunge for those of us who won’t.

    1. Hey @Narull – Woah! thank you for reading my Tinder experience.
      Curious, how would you describe my attitude from the start to finish?

      1. Hey,

        While I admit perhaps it’s just my own perspective of your writing so apologies if it’s wrong but at the start as you put it you seemed to see tinder as “shits n giggles” but as you progressed you started to gain confidence in it and as you first said you hesitated, from then out the ‘tone’ felt slightly different in the writing like you were enjoying tinder more, to me it seemed like you enjoyed it not just for the project but for what tinder is meant to be for (which changes depending on the person of course).

        As you said in your conclusion you couldn’t end up giving up tinder, for whatever reason that may be it grew on you.

        Sorry if this sounds like I’m judging or something, expressing my own viewpoints via text is not my forte! (that’s why you’re the writer not me haha).

        I’ve never had any dealings with tinder be it myself or anyone I know (although I live a very different life to most) so it was extremely interesting and strangely emotional in a way to read about this experience.

      2. How interesting!

        I did enjoy it and it was still shit’and’giggles. I saw the potential and saw the failings of the app. But it terms of creating long-lasting human connections, twitter has a better success rating than Tinder.

        I even met one of my good mates on Tinder. Our friendship was built on mutual views on Tinder. We swiped, compare and laughed.

        I also played the game well on Tinder. It was obvious what the men wanted, you find out which camp they sat on or gage their personalities and sincerity quite quickly. I don’t mean to brag, I like people and I can assess their ‘needs’ and desires easily too.

        You’re quite right to say it grew on me. I saw other possibilities beyond the people and saw a visual language that grew organically from it. I want digest and explore that further.

        I don’t mind your opinions. I only started writing with purpose and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. I’m glad you enjoyed the adventure with me.

      3. It’s nice to hear that friendships can grow from such places, I admit I stumbled across your blog while looking at one of the tender fails hashtags on twitter and then spent the next few hours reading it all (between cooking etc).

        The ‘game’ as you put it is the whole reason I’ve never been drawn to tinder but as I said I live an odd life.

        I don’t read blogs about the world often for my own reasons but somehow I felt I couldn’t stop with yours. Thank you again, I hope to read more of your work in the future, perhaps I need to rethink my views on reading about things in the world.

      4. It brings a little joy in my heart when you such nice words to me.

        i’m still developing my voice so it be interesting to see where ‘consistent’ writing would lead me.

        Feel free to continually share your thoughts.

        -sn

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